SCN: Fw: Zen Thoughts! VERY Funny!

[emailer1]

A little lightness to start the day.


>  A Few Zen Thoughts For Those Who May Take Life Too Seriously
>
>  2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
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>  3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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>  4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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>  5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
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>  6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
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>  7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
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>  8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
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>  9. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
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>  10. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
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>  11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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>  12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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>  13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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>  14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
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>  15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
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>  16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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>  17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
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>  18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
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>  19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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>  20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
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>  21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
>
>  22. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
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>  23. I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
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>  24. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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>  25. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
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>  26. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously over looked something.
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>  27. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
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>  28. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
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>  29. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
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>  30. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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>  31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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>  32. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
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>  33. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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>  34. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
>
>  35. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
>
   36. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
 

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