SCN: Headlines in Papers -- A Humorous Bit

[emailer1]

And more to cheer you up.

> Date: Friday, March 10, 2000 2:05 PM
> Subject: Headlines in Papers

> > 50 Actual Newspaper Headlines
> >
> > (collected by actual journalists)

> > 1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
> >
> > 2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
> >
> > 3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
> >
> > 4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
> >
> > 5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
> >
> > 6. Farmer Bill Dies in House
> >
> > 7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
> >
> > 8. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
> >
> > 9. Stud Tires Out
> >
> > 10. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
> >
> > 11. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
> >
> > 12. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
> >
> > 13. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
> >
> > 14. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
> >
> > 15. Eye Drops off Shelf
> >
> > 16. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
> >
> > 17. Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
> >
> > 18. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
> >
> > 19. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Neckless to 66
> >
> > 20. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
> >
> > 21. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
> >
> > 22. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
> >
> > 23. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
> >
> > 24. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
> >
> > 25. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
> >
> > 26. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
> >
> > 27. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
> >
> > 28. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
> >
> > 29. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84
> >
> > 30. War Dims Hope for Peace
> >
> > 31. If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
> >
> > 32. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
> >
> > 33.Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
> >
> > 34. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
> >
> > 35. Deer Kill 17,000
> >
> > 36. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
> >
> > 37. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
> >
> > 38. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
> >
> > 39. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
> >
> > 40. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
> >
> > 41. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
> >
> > 42. Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
> >
> > 43. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
> >
> > 44. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
> >
> > 45. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
> >
> > 46. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
> >
> > 47. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
> >
> > 48. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
> >
> > 49. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
> >
> > 50. Air Head Fired
> >
> 
> 

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